2012 Week 20 Round Up

First up, apologies for not having blogged much this week. I was thrown a curve-ball midweek, and it completely threw me off my rhythm!

Wednesday it was the birthday of my clinical partner (kind of like a buddy system, they pair you up with a friend for your first year on the wards), and he wanted to try and find a German pub he'd been to before. I agreed to go along, especially as I thought I could maybe get away with a slightly more slack day after a big run on Monday night.

We had a good time at the pub, and I had a few beers (which is unlike me, as I usually can't stand the stuff and stick to spirits, if I drink at all). It was when I got home that the problem occurred. I went to try and unlock my bedroom door, and CLANG...the thing broke off in the lock!

I tried calling my landlord, but he didn't answer. I didn't have a spare, and part of the key was still wedged in there. I sat in the park for an hour or so waiting for a call from the landlord, but nothing. Luckily I had my wallet and phone on me, so I called my clinical partner and invited myself to crash on his sofa. Luckily his housemates were having a mini-celebration for him too, so I could just join that.

As I was sat on the platform waiting for a train the landlord finally called, and he managed to get me into my room. However, by then I was so grumpy and had psyched myself up for a party, so I decided to go along anyway. I was a good night, but those extra drinks, on top of the afternoon ones, knocked down my diet barriers, and I ate RATHER a lot of Indian food!

Thursday I was still recovering, so that was a write-off, and we had a long day on Friday. It wasn't until Saturday that I realised I hadn't run since Monday, and hadn't weighed in since then either! I had to do some catch-up work this weekend for the lazy Thursday, so now I'm going into another weigh-in tomorrow without any idea of how I've done. My diet hasn't been bad since the party, so I shouldn't have gained since then, but the worry is if the party binge was enough to wipe out the losses from the big Monday night run...I guess we'll have to see!

2012 Week 19 - RESULTS

So, after some ups and downs this week, did I manage to lose my pound?

STARTING WEIGHT:   222.1 lbs

ENDING WEIGHT:  221.1 lbs

WEIGHT LOSS:    1.0 lbs

Bang on target!


I wasn't sure if I was going to make a pound loss this week, but I forced myself out on a run last night and I think that just tipped the balance. I'm getting more used to this rate of loss now too - I was still rather expecting to lose 5+ lbs a week for a while, but now I'm more accustomed to this level of progress. Still, there is definitely room for improvement in both my diet and exercise regimes, so perhaps I could score higher losses if I tried a bit harder.


Talking of exercise - I ran five days out of five last week, so I am now only 5 miles away from scoring another Marathon Week. Rather than split that over two days, I'm thinking about going out for a 5-mile run tonight. My usual distance is only 4.3 miles, so I'd have to plan a little extra loop on my route...but I've been running the same distance for over a year now, so its time to start pushing the envelope!


No specific objectives for this week, expect to try and stick with the new plans more successfully, and not have to make excuses for poor progress when we come to the mid-week progress check. I'd be pleased to hit another pound loss this coming week, but I won't push for it like I did this week. Then again, if I don't slip up on the plan, I won't have to!

 2012 Weight Loss: 

3.8 lbs (76.0 total loss)

Week 19 Round-Up

So, at my mid-week check-in, I was up about a pound. I wasn't sure if that was genuine fat gain or just water weight at the time. Then, when I weighed in on Saturday morning, my weight had dropped by two full pounds, putting me at a net loss of a pound for the week.

I was quite pleased with this! I had been running every evening since Wednesday, and went out again on Saturday night, to try and make the most of the loss. However, when I came to weigh in on Sunday morning, the weight had gone up again!

I'm getting used to this by now though, so I didn't take it too personally. I have just got back from another run, so that equals five runs in five days, for a distance of just over 21 miles. I'm almost tempted to go out again on Monday and Tuesday nights, make it seven for seven, and score another Marathon Week. We'll see though - I was kinda saving that for when I get closer to 218 lbs, my historical rebound point...but maybe.

Don't know what the scales will read tomorrow, or if I'll manage to score a pound loss or not - as I say I have been running tonight, but I did have another day of mostly carbs (keeping the calories at about 1200, but that water weight will always get me). I guess I'll find out in the morning!

Week 19 Midway Update

At weigh-in this morning, I was up almost a pound for the week so far. How on earth did this happen?

The trouble is, I don't know! I haven't been weighing regularly this week, you see. That's part of what inspired yesterday's post. This morning was the first time since Monday I stepped on the scales. Let's recap my week since then...

On Monday, I did eat rather too much. I think its an effect of my carbs over the weekend - I really do seem to be addicted to the things, and whenever I eat too many, I get hooked and relapse into a carb binge. Not that Monday was a binge, that is - I just ate carbs for every meal. (Toasted sandwich, baked potato, pasta...you know the score.)

Tuesday was better, and Wednesday I don't remember what I had, but don't recall a binge. Yesterday I had a low-calorie day (being aware that I hadn't weighed and getting nervous), but the calories I did eat were mainly carbs. I have also run three times so far this week, so that's nearly 13 miles under my belt already.

That's the tally for this week, and it has given me a gain of about a pound. That's why I don't know the cause - I haven't been tracking it. I don't know if my weight shot up dramatically after the Monday decadence and has been dropping since then, or if the weight jumped up after yesterday's low-calorie but high-carb total. It could be genuine weight gain, or it could be water weight following carbs. I guess we'll see!

I've had a very strict day today since this weigh-in, and I plan on having a good weekend too. I can also fit in a couple more runs over the weekend, which will bring me to 5 runs in 5 days...hopefully that's enough to score a loss come Monday!

To Weigh, Or Not To Weigh...

On my run this evening, I was preoccupied not with the diet, nor with the exercise, but rather with my weighing schedule.

I've always been, even from the very beginning, a weigh-a-day man. However, I know that some of the blogs I read only weigh once a week, or sometimes even less frequently. This got me thinking about the pros and cons of the two methods, and as I have nothing more interesting to share, I shall be writing about these this evening!

- The reason I like weighing every day is that it gives me a regular, constant snapshot of my progress. You can immediately see the impact of every large meal, every run, every big night out. It also helps you to spot patterns in your weight-loss, such as your optimal rate of loss, danger-days where you tend to gain, what diets or exercises have the best impact etc.

However, there is a drawback to this system that I have noticed, and that is the fact that good progress earlier in the week can lead you to slack off over the weekend. I have done this myself in the past - worked hard and lost quite a lot of weight between Monday and Thursday, only to them relax, as I'd 'already gained a good lost', and actually lost some of the progress.

- Weighing only once a week was tempting at first. A regular part of losing weight is seeing random (and sometimes enormous) fluctuations in your diet. I have noticed this most clearly when I switch from a low-carb to a higher-carb diet. When weighing every day, you see ALL the fluctuations, and it can lead you to the wrong conclusions.

On the other hand, I know that on those lazy weeks when I do perhaps only weigh at the end of the week, my progress tracking goes right out of the window. If I don't check my weight every day, I start discounting the little binges and lack of exercise, convincing myself that its not that bad, and it won't make much of difference. Then, when I come to weigh in and see the impact, it can really knock you back. This sudden kick in teeth would have been avoided if I were weighing every day.

So, there you are! It's probably a good thing that I don't have a running buddy - if this is the kind of thing that goes through my head when I'm on a run, I probably wouldn't make very good company!

2012 Week 18 - RESULTS

Apologies that this is a day late!

STARTING WEIGHT:   222.6 lbs

ENDING WEIGHT:  222.1 lbs

WEIGHT LOSS:    0.5 lbs

At my Thursday check, I was only down 0.2 lbs for the week. I had hoped to try and get it to at least a pound by today, and by Saturday morning I was at 0.8 lbs. However (and as I've already described), my super-late shift didn't happen, and so the carbs I'd eaten in preparation for a night on my feet were unnecessary.


I wasn't sure how they would have affected my weight, so to see a slight gain over the weekend is a bit disheartening. Still, I managed four runs last week, which is definitely good for my general fitness, and also a positive sign that maybe I'm finally managing to fit it back into my routine.


I'm still finding that running doesn't really shift much, if any, weight at the moment. It could of course just be that I've been stagnant for so long, and its taking some time for my metabolism to speed up and start shedding the pounds. I'm happy to lose a half-pound in a week, if its a slow and steady progression over the seven days. I think I'm only a bit disappointed this time because there was a bigger loss on Saturday.


But still, my second loss in a row, so my new rule of losing each week is off the right start. I also said before that I wanted to take it steady down to about 218 lbs, as that's usually been the point I reach before I rebound back up again. If the rate of loss is slow but continuous between now and goal, I'd rather take that than see bigger losses and then rebounds.


Still, going to see if I can reach the pound mark by next Monday!

 2012 Weight Loss: 

2.8 lbs (75.0 total loss)

Week 18 Round Up

Less than 12 hours until my Monday weigh-in, so I figured I had better check in with an update on my week since Thursday.

When I posted then, I was only down about 0.2 lbs for the week, thanks to an unexpected Monday night binge. I told myself that it would be nice to try and aim for a solid pound loss by the end of the week, which would mean losing 0.8 lbs in the last three days - not impossible in theory, but unlikely given my recent rate of loss.

However, I stuck to my diet and exercise, and by Saturday morning I was really close to that pound. The thing is, I was due to start a 15-hour all-night on-call shift at my new hospital on Saturday night. In anticipation of that, I went against my own rules, and actually loaded up on a few carbs, to make sure I had the energy to get through it.

Well, never have I been so disappointed to be given the night off, as our consultant was heading home, and the junior doctors didn't know what to do with us students once all the patients were asleep, so we were sent home too! I'd done the loading for nothing! (well, still a few hours on our feet, but still!)

To try and make sure we got enough hours in, my colleague and I decided to go back in first thing this morning for the ward round. As such, I just snatched some sleep last night and forgot to weigh this morning...that means I have no idea what impact, if any, my carb load on Saturday morning has had on my weight. It could be I have put on some water weight, and might have quite a small loss. It could be that being back at Uni and on my feet all day, plus the fact that I've run four times this week, has burned off any weight the carbs might add. I just don't know. I have no idea what to expect tomorrow morning!

Talking of the running, as I say I managed 4 runs this week, which is just over 17 miles, so I'm pleased with that. The funny thing is, each night I've been convinced I was running faster than the last time, but I have in fact been getting slower! It always used to be the other way around (if I thought I was slow, I'd actually been quick), but I'd never noticed it working this way round before - very strange!

Anyhow, I need to have a shower (just got back in from run number 4) and get some sleep, so I'll see you at the weigh in!

So Far, So-So...

Evening all!

It's Thursday, which under my new rules means it is time for my mid-week progress report. Unfortunately, there isn't much progress to report, as my weight loss so far this week is a measly 0.2 lbs.

Funnily enough, I would have been delighted with a 0.2lb loss a few weeks ago, but this week I know it could have been better. To explain, let's go back to the beginning...

Monday was my last day off before starting at a new hospital on Tuesday. I was still having trouble regulating sleep, but went to bed quite early Sunday, so managed to get up earlyish on Monday. I was good throughout the day, sticking with the diet, and even went out for a run in the evening.

However, for some reason, I found it impossible to sleep on Monday night. I don't know if its because I'd slept a lot the night before, or because my metabolism was up after the run, but I was wide awake. And inexplicably, at about 4.30 in the morning I went down to the local 24-hr store and had myself a mini binge.

What a waste of a good day! I ended up with a burger and chips (or fries), a magnum ice cream, two chocolate bars, and bag of crisps (or chips). Not only was that bad for the weight loss, but that hit of sugar kept me awake for the rest of the night, so I was completely out of it for my first day!

Luckily I managed to get through it, and Tuesday I was very strict on the diet. Yesterday I had a protein-only day, but did eat quite a lot of chicken. I had planned on running yesterday evening (in anticipation of this weight check), but was just too weary.

So there it is - one run, one binge, and two fairly good days  = a loss of 0.2 lbs. I now have that to beat before Monday...which surely can't be that hard, right?

On the plus side, my sleep pattern seems to have regulated itself a bit by now - although just my luck, I'm down to do a 15-hr night shift on Saturday, so no doubt that will throw me right out of whack again! (Or maybe, I've been subconsciously training for it all along?) Also I've also just got back in from my second run this week, so that's already double the exercise I did last week!

I'll check in again before weigh-in on Monday - let's see how many calories a night shift can burn!

2012 Week 17 - RESULTS

So, one week into my newly-reinvigorated program. Have I managed to buck the gaining trend of the last few weeks?

STARTING WEIGHT:   223.9 lbs

ENDING WEIGHT:  222.6 lbs

WEIGHT LOSS:    1.3 lbs

I'll take it!


It might seem odd, that I managed to drop one pound by Thursday without running, but only 0.3lbs between then and now, despite going for a run on Friday. I've noticed that trend before now though, and just remind myself that the running isn't just about losing weight. Granted, that's the main objective of this system, but I said right from the outset that I was also trying to improve my general health and fitness too. So, I don't worry too much that the running doesn't actually impact my weight-loss as much anymore.


Generally, I think I did quite well last week. There are still a few of my new rules that I need to work harder at, but finally I seem to have rediscovered the drive to actually try and shift the pounds.


I'm quite keen to try and keep my losses steady for a few weeks. One thing I've noticed, reading back over my old weigh-ins, is that my 'rebound-point' seems to be around 218 lbs - whenever I've hit that mark, I have slipped up and gained the weight back again. That seems to be the threshold for me at the moment. As such, I'm planning on taking it slow and steady up until about that point, and then doubling my efforts to push past it at last. At this rate it is still several weeks away, but I've already got my eye on the prize - the lowest weight I ever hit was 215.8 lbs, so REALLY looking forward to blowing that out of the water!

 2012 Weight Loss: 

2.3 lbs (74.5 total loss)

Week 17 Round Up

For for the first time in a long time, I have weighed in every day for a week. Thank goodness! It really does help keep tabs on my progress AND keeps the whole weight-loss at the forefront of my mind.

I'm quite looking forward to weighing in tomorrow. Not because I'm expecting a huge loss, although the scales should be down. Rather, tomorrow will be the first Monday where I'm not dreading the scale, since I've more or less kept to my new rules this week.

I managed to go out for a run yesterday, which is good. It hurt quite a bit, but that's what I get for not exercising regularly in the last fortnight! I haven't been as good at doing my aerobic exercises on the days I haven't been running, so that's something I need to improve on next week.

The diet has been pretty good too. There are still a few things in there that shouldn't be - the weekly tally for 'foods I could do without' comes to two chocolate bars, two sausage rolls, and three (sugar-free) Red Bulls. Far better than the daily carb binge I had been eating, so there's progress!

Tomorrow is a Bank Holiday here in the UK, so college doesn't start until Tuesday for me. That seems like a perfect opportunity to try and get a morning run in, as I can just go right to bed again afterwards if I want to! I am still quite sore from yesterday's run, but I'll set the alarms and hope for the best!

Anyhow, I'll see you again in about 12 hours for the weigh-in!

Week 17 Midway Update

 A Kinder Bueno - the only 'naughty' food so far this week!

At weigh-in this morning, I am so far down exactly a pound for the week. This is very satisfactory!

The diet hasn't been too bad. I ate quite a lot on Monday, as I was still experiencing the huge hunger that my recent binging has exacerbated. However, although the quantity was quite high, I tried to make sure that most of it was protein. This has worked for me in the past, and generally causes far less damage to the weigh-in than binging on carbs does.

Tuesday I ate less, but did chow down on a Kinder Bueno bar. One of the problems I have when I cut out the carbs is that my diet lacks sugars, and so I end up craving something sweet. I think there were only about 100 calories in that bar though, and I was able to limit it to just that, which is promising! I also have some very cheap ice-pops in my freezer, which are only about 45 calories each, but can be perfect for satisfying my sweet-tooth in a fairly harmless way.

As I write this, I am actually really hungry, but as I've already eaten my calories for the day, I have to grin and make do. And you know what? Its OK! This is a really good sign for me, motivation wise - over the last three weeks, whenever I've had a big hunger, I've gone out and filled up on junk food. However, at the start of the program when I was really committed to the weight loss, I actually ENJOYED feeling hungry, as I knew that my body was looking for calories to burn, and would take it from my fat. Having that feeling back now is great.

The eagle-eyed among you will notice that I haven't run yet this week. I'm still keen to try and get into my morning-run system again, but my sleep has still been disturbed this week, so every morning so far I've just hit snooze and rolled over. I'll try once more tomorrow morning, but if that still doesn't work, then I WILL go out tomorrow evening. I'm sure that getting back into the exercise will help the sleeping too.

Anyway, that's it so far - we've got a pound to beat before Monday!

Covenants & Caveats

In my attempt to get this weight loss program working again, I decided to go back to first principles. What I was doing right back at the start was working really quite well, but then I started playing with the system, and things were never quite as successful, or sat as easily with me, as they did back then.

As such, I have gone back to my old ways. I weigh every day now, and have brought back my old spreadsheet (which is the eighth wonder of the world as far as I'm concerned - I really do have a man-crush on the thing). This helps me keep track of everything, by telling me my daily and weekly losses, the rates I'm losing at, how close to all my mini-targets I am, estimated completion dates at this rate of loss etc etc. I don't really know why I ever stopped using it, but its back in a big way!

The diet has gone back to the old system too. This means, basically, no carbs until my evening meal. I have an omelette for breakfast, and then chicken or something for lunch, to try and stick with protein for most of the day. This kept me fairly satisfied in the past, but I added some carbs in the evening to try and avoid going full-Atkins (which I'm still rather wary of). It worked before, so I'm hoping it will help me kick the carb-addiction that I've been giving in to far too often this year.

Those are some general rules, but I also have a few set promises to myself. Some of them might seem impossible, and as such, it might not seem very wise to try and make them a 'rule' per se. But when I started my weight-loss way back when, the weekly target I set myself was, also, far too high. I didn't reach it every week - but rather than deflate me, it was by striving to get as close to that target as I could that actually drove a lot of my old success. So, I'm not too concerned about setting targets that are too hard - they force me to work harder than easy targets ever have!

The following are the new rules. However, each one has an addendum, to give me at least SOME breathing space.

1) I will exercise every day  -  but it doesn't have to be running.

On the days I don't run, I want to start actually doing something else, rather than just writing off exercise altogether. I will do push-ups, sit-ups etc on the days I don't run, and might even throw the weights back into the mix, to try and get some variety.

2) I will weigh-in TWICE a week - but only the Monday one is official

This is to try and combat the pattern of dieting hard over the weekend to score a loss on Monday, and then relaxing and gaining at the start of the week, before repeating the cycle and striving to score a loss again by Monday. Instead, I will report my current weight on Wednesday or Thursday, just to try and encourage me to keep the losses consistent, rather than constantly up and down.

3) I will blog at least 3 times a week - even if just to say hi.

This one is more about making sure I am reading all your blogs too. Since I now keep track of the blogs I follow on my own homepage, I need to make sure I am visiting my own blog regularly, so that I can also keep track of who has updated! It might mean I have more short, pointless posts, but I'd rather be regular like that than forever be making these huge, unwieldy update posts.

4) I will lose weight every week - even if its only 0.1 lbs

This is the questionable one, as I have myself said that, some weeks, there's nothing you can do to avoid a gain. The thing is, I say that, but every gain I've had is because of something I've done wrong, or something I haven't done right. I've been making SO MANY excuses so far this year, and then brushing them off by saying 'at least' this or 'one off' that. I used to be much stricter with myself than this, so this rule is the one I'm most determined to keep. Of course, its also the one I'm most likely to fail in, but at least by aiming for it, I can limit any potential gains to a minimum.

So there, that's a taster of what I've got planned. I also mentioned before that I might have to change what I blog about, in order to blog more often...but in keeping with that spirit, I don't think I'll explain any further until tomorrow!

May Day! M'aidez! Help Me!

I said yesterday that I would let you know some of the new rules I'm going to be working by from here on out. Well, you're not getting them today, so there!

Instead, I thought it was time to apologise for the fact that, for a very long time, I've not been a very good member of the blogging community we have here.

The 'problem' started when my blog began to gain more readers. Now, I love the fact that you guys follow my blog and comment and support me from time to time. It really helps, and makes this blogging malarkey so much more rewarding.

The 'problem' was, I just didn't have time to read everyone else's blogs! I did my best for a while, by getting them all into my Feed Reader thing on my desktop. But when I got more than 10 followers, the number of updates each day (including from my usual sites, not just the bloggers) just became too many for me to fit in over breakfast. I streamlined my feeder, taking out all the blog ones, and instead added them onto my actual blog page (you can see the blogs I read down the right hand side). That worked, but only if I was, you know, actually coming to my own blog. And as you'll all know, my attendance to my blogging duties was questionable at best!

I guess what I'm saying is sorry. Sorry for not returning all the support others have given me over this journey. I'm really going to make more of an effort to stay up to speed an all your attempts, as I remember how much help I got from reading your advice, and how much more determined I was to succeed when I felt I was an active part of a weight-loss community on here. I intend to blog more often (which will require a change in what I blog about, but I'll get to that) and I hope that means I spend more time reading your own posts again. Not only do I think that's fair on you guys, but its going to help me out more too, as clearly what I've been doing so far this year hasn't exactly been working!

That's all for now - maybe TOMORROW I'll lay out the new Headspace rules of engagement!

Weeks 14-16 - RESULTS

EDIT: Haha ok, so I came back to my blog wondering why the only comments were on my older posts, rather than the latest ones. Turns out, I haven't been publishing my posts over the last few days, but have been saving them as drafts! My blogger dashboard has updated recently and I'd like to think that's why, rather than just me being an imbecile...but whatever the cause, you now get to enjoy three posts in VERY quick succession!

--------------------------------------------

Ok, I've got three weeks of updating to do, so we can see the full impact of my recent relapse. I'll take the weeks one by one rather than just roll them all into one, so we can see where I started to go wrong.

WEEK 14 START:   220.9 lbs

ENDING WEIGHT:  220.4 lbs

WEIGHT LOSS:    0.5 lbs

Hard to backtrack this far! This was the week following my Marathon Week weight loss. I went for another run on the...Wednesday I think...before heading home for a break. I was worried about binging while I was there, as has happened on each previous visit. I did eat rather more than I intended to, but managed to keep it in check, so still managed a fairly good loss.

WEEK 15 START:   220.4 lbs


ENDING WEIGHT: 221.8 lbs




WEIGHT GAIN:     1.4 lbs

This is where it started to unravel. When I went home I took back a lot of the books I had read over the previous year, and dragging that weight (over 100lbs) through the streets of London really hurt my arms, and what is more, I had to walk in a strange way to drag it effectively, and my hips became extremely sore. This was the excuse I had for not running at all in this week. My diet went out the window too, and this is where my sleep patterns went to heck, and I switched into my odd 48-hour cycle. All in all, I was on a downward spiral, and when I went up to visit my Dad at the weekend, we celebrated my exam pass with a big Indian meal, which didn't help matters!



WEEK 16 START:   221.8 lbs


ENDING WEIGHT: 223.9 lbs




WEIGHT GAIN:     2.1 lbs

 And then everything went to pot. This is where I reverted back into my old routine of binging every night, justifying it by telling myself I would start the diet again tomorrow, so could enjoy one last blow out. Still wasn't exercising either. I actually stopped weighing for most of this week, as I dreaded the scale!

So there we have it! Taken together as a 3-week bender, the gain of 3lbs might not actually seem very much, considering. However, as I've been so namby-pamby about the whole weight-loss regime this year, it takes me right back to where I was at the start - in effect, I have only lost 1lb since the start of the year.

In terms of maintaining my weight, this is actually quite impressive - but of course, I'm nowhere near goal yet, so have no right to be pleased about maintaining!

I started to feel fat again this week, and grew angry about it, which is something I haven't really felt since the start of this blog. I'm pleased about that, as I now have a fire in my belly again! I've got some new rules I plan to stick to from now on, but as this is already a long post, I think I'll save them for tomorrow!

 2012 Weight Loss: 

1.0 lbs (73.2 total loss)

The One With The Excuses

Hi all. Remember me?

First off, apologies for taking yet ANOTHER long leave of absence. When I last posted I was off home for a visit. After that I came back to London, then went off for another home visit. Then Uni started up again, and before I knew it, weeks had passed! I've been planning on posting again for most of this week, but never quite got round to it, and eventually decided to just leave it until Monday.

But I'm posting now. You see, I realised that this 'putting off' wasn't limited to just the blog. I've been putting off a lot of things in the last couple of weeks. To cut a long story short...I fell off the wagon. Big time.

The problems started just after my successful Marathon Week. I had thought that having a few weeks holiday after last term would give me a lot of time, with no commitments, in which I could exercise easily and get away with a calorie-restricted diet. In fact, it worked in almost completely the opposite way - having a few weeks off with no commitments meant I was sat in my room, twiddling my thumbs, with nothing to distract me from my appetite.

Another problem with the time off is that my sleep pattern got shot to hell. I actually wound up in a strange 48-hour cycle, where I would stay awake for 36 hours, have a massive 12-hour sleep binge, and then repeat again. This meant I was groggy in the morning and absolutely worn out the next morning, so I a) didn't feel up to any exercise, and b) was drinking a lot of high-sugar energy drinks.

And it wasn't just the sleep I've been binging on. In this last week, we had a full reversion to the old pattern - "I'll start dieting again tomorrow, so let's get all my binging out of my system tonight with one last blow out". We all remember how well that worked in the past, right?

All in all, its been a terrible couple of weeks (punctuated by the somewhat good news that I passed my last set of exams!). The funny thing is though, there's a part of me which is glad.

You see, its obvious to me (and no doubt to you) that I've been treading water for MONTHS. The old enthusiasm that drove me to my early successes at the start was replaced with...I don't know...satisfaction? I was pleased with my progress (and I am still a lot lighter than I was this time last year), but I have been losing and then regaining the same weight since last summer. I've never really rediscovered that old zeal...until (perhaps) now.

You see, for the first time in a long time, I actually feel FAT again. Part of my brain has been registering the regular small losses I've made, but has been discounting the gains that undo them. As such, a moment came this week where I looked in the mirror, and the figure reflected back didn't match the expectation in my head anymore. It all came crashing back into focus. And I got MAD.

I'm ready to start doing this properly again. I'm going to wrap up this post now as its already too long, but there are going to be some changes coming - changes to how I use this blog, and the content/style of my posts. I'll explain more in a future entry, and will log off for now. I'll see you tomorrow for a catch-up weigh-in, where you can expect a large gain (I expect), but also a promise...

Realisations

Hi all!

I wanted to post something this morning, as I'm off home this afternoon for a couple of days and don't know if I'll have a chance to blog, and didn't want to be silent until the weekend. I've only really got two things to talk about today, both realisations I've had this week - one bad, the other good.

The bad realisation I've had involves the state of my diet. As well as my running target last week, I also wanted to really try and pay more attention to what I was eating, as my dieting wasn't as effective as it had been, and my exercising wasn't having quite the same impact. Also, with money an increasing concern, I thought I could kill two birds with one stone, and really look at what I was buying and eating by holding on to my receipts for the week.

Well, let's just say I have been eating FAR more junk than I was admitting to myself. My standard food shop is actually pretty healthy and budget friendly, but what became apparent on going through my receipts is all the little extras and 'treats' that have snuck in. When I go to the supermarket I do my normal shop, but there are several additions that have no business being in there. If I've been exercising, I'll treat myself to some chocolate or ice-cream. I'll buy some carb-heavy processed junk food 'just for today'. I'll buy a pack of candy 'just for now and then', but the truth is I'll graze on them all day, and they won't last until the next. What is worse, all these additions have been sneaking under my 'calorie radar', and when I try to tally up how many calories I think I've eating on a given day, I'll often severely underestimate the impact all these 'little extras' have been having.

Well, not any more! Now I'm aware of it, I can start trying to deal with it. I think what I need to do, rather than eat whatever I want and then try to add up the calories at the end of the day, is to allocate myself a calorie limit every morning. Each meal will be subtracted from this total, and when its gone, I'm not allowed to eat anymore. That's the best way I can think of to actually keep track of how many calories are in each meal, where the extras are coming from, and what foods work best for my diet.

On a more positive note, I have rediscovered the joys of the early-morning run. I started running in the afternoon during my marathon week, as then I had slightly longer before the next run the following evening. Well, last night I couldn't (and didn't) sleep at all, so when it got to 5am, I decided to just go out for a run, before the commuter traffic hit. And it was wonderful! I always used to run at dawn in the past, and even said that I preferred it, way back at the start of the blog. But recently, I've only been going out in the evening.

It just feels fantastic, exercising first thing - the air is fresh and clear, there's nobody about and you feel like the city is yours, you start your day off actively and positively, and to see the sky pale as I pound the streets just makes me feel so much more alive than an evening run into ever-deepening gloom. It literally is a new day dawning, and its great for motivation. I plan on trying to make my runs early-morning as much as I can from hereon out.

Anyway, that's it! I'm going to try and exercise while I'm at home too, which will mean going back to old routes I haven't run in years. I've already said how I tend to binge when I go home, so I'm really going to have to watch that. I'll update again at the weekend, to let you know how I've done!

2012 Week 13 - RESULTS

After achieving my goal of running a marathon distance last week, how has the weight been affected?

STARTING WEIGHT:   222.4 lbs

ENDING WEIGHT:  220.9 lbs

WEIGHT LOSS:    1.5 lbs

Now, on the one hand, this is a pretty substantial loss, which is very satisfying. Also, coming after a two week period where I gained weight, it is nice to see the scales moving in the right direction again.


I've always made an effort not to focus too much on negatives, but I have to be honest, sometimes its the negatives that drive me on more than the positives. As such, there are a few things about this weigh-in that still frustrate me.


1) After running almost 30 miles last week, I might have expected a bigger loss
2) Last week's loss doesn't undo the gains over the preceding two weeks, so I am still 'up'
3) I have been losing and regaining the same 10 lbs for months now, and I'm getting bored of it




So there they are. Its these sort of facts that drive me on far more successfully than the positive aspects, I find. So, let's hope I can use them to score another loss this coming week!


I'm resting from exercise today, but still want to try and get in at least three runs this week. Also, I am heading home for a short visit on Wednesday. On every previous visit home, my diet has gone out of the window, and I've binged on bread and chocolates and flapjacks etc etc. I HAVE to try and resist this time around - it would really damage my resolve to take a step backwards so soon after another period of gains. I'm going to take my running gear with me, and try to exercise while I'm there, to try and undo any slips I might make, and I'll still have the weekend here in London, so if I do misbehave, I can get a couple more runs in before weigh-in on Monday!

 2012 Weight Loss: 

4.0 lbs (76.2 total loss)

Marathon Week - VICTORY!

 

I did it!

Ended up waking up a lot later than I planned to today, as some of the other people on our estate were apparently raised in a zoo, and were screeching and howling at each other until dawn. Still, as soon as I woke up I got on my running gear and hit the pavements!

I knew I had to run less than a mile to reach my target, but I did the full distance anyway, so my tally for the week is actually almost 30 miles, well over the marathon distance I planned for. Very pleased!

I wonder if I'll ever be fit enough to actually run a marathon? Or even just a half-marathon? I read somewhere that different runners are built for different disciplines - that some are natural sprinters, some are more inclined to long distance etc. If that's true, then I think I must be built for the couch, as I don't see myself as particularly fast on the straight OR overly rich in stamina. I worked out from my distances and times that week that, if I could maintain my usual pace and not stop, I would run a marathon in 4 hours 10 minutes. That's complete nonsense of course, as its taken me a week to cover that distance, but it certainly gives me something to aim for, if I ever did decide to tackle the big one!

Its a shame my weight doesn't reflect the effort I've put in to the running this week. I was certainly at a loss as of this morning, but nowhere near what one might reasonably expect after almost 30 miles of exercise! Then again, this week was ALWAYS about getting back into the exercise groove, and I think I've done that, so let's see if we can do something with the scales next week, eh?

Final Mile...

Hello again!

I just got back in from my sixth run this week. The DailyMile widget over on the right is already recording a weekly distance of 26 miles, but that's because it rounds up - I've actually run 6 x 4.26 miles, so 25.56 miles so far.

And that, of course, means that I have less than one mile to go hit my target of covering a marathon distance this week!

I'll be really proud of it as an achievement, but I know that to the more serious runners out there (the ones who, you know, actually run marathons), it might seem like small potatoes.

It has made me wonder though, what my actual running limits are. I've chosen my regular distance of 4-and-a-bit miles, just because at a regular pace I can cover that distance, plus a pre-run warm up and a post-run shower, in more or less exactly an hour. That made it nice and easy to fit into my daily schedule.

There are two stats I often see other runners quote though, that I have no data for:

1) How fast I can run a mile

2) How far can I run non-stop

My average speed over my usual run is about 9-10 minutes a mile, but I never sprint (expect occasionally right at the end), and I am pacing myself for the whole distance, so I would be interested to see how fast I can run just a single mile, flat out. I'd have to find a running track or something to test it out though, as I usually run on the busy London streets, and regularly have to stop for traffic or sleepy pedestrians!

As for how far I can run...I honestly don't know. I certainly feel ready to stop once I've reached the end of my regular distance. Then again, my breathing has usually returned to normal within about 20 seconds of stopping, and my time hasn't really improved after about a year of running...so I expect I'm not really pushing myself as far as I could go.

I'm tempted to try both these out in due course. Not too soon though - going to give myself a day off after Marathon Week!

Day 4 of Marathon Week...

So far, so good!

Just got my fourth run done, so I've now covered 16 miles for the week, leaving me with 10 and a bit miles left this week for me to hit my marathon distance. Well, I say that, but...

This is my jogging route mapped out according to DailyMile, the fitness site I recently started using to track my exercise (you can see the widget over on the right).

Now the thing is, when I planned this route, I used Google Earth, and on that software, the route I run is exactly 4 miles.

The DailyMile map above also seems to use Google, but when I put my route into the map there, it comes out at a whole quarter of a mile longer!

I'm satisfied that I should at least be covering the 4 miles I plan to, but if there's any chance I've actually been running more than that (even only quarter of a mile more) I'll be happy!

On another note, you'll notice I've been blogging more this week. Part of that is forced, trying to make myself post more often, in the hopes I get into the habit again. But you know something else? I've realised that a lot of the things I want to post about occur to me on my runs! So when I'm not running, I can't think of anything to post, and when I'm not posting I lose motivation, so I don't run as much...its a vicious circle that (touch wood) I won't fall into again any time soon!