So I nearly scuppered myself yesterday, after recording a massive weight loss, but luckily I pulled things together, and managed to (almost) turn my day around.
I started well, with a decent breakfast. As I wasn't exercising last week I had reduced my calories to compensate, but as I'm into the latter half of my weight loss now, I don't want to be relying on reduced calories for too much longer. The time will come when I need to stabilise my weight, and balance out a normal calorie intake with regular exercise. I don't want that change to come all of a sudden once I hit my goal weight, so I need to start thinking about gradually bringing my calories back up, and increasing my exercise accordingly.
I was really busy in the afternoon, trying to arrange funding for next year at university, and as I went off to post my grant applications, I realised I was quite hungry. And I made a bad decision. I went to McDonalds.
I hadn't been there in months, and to be honest the food didn't taste especially great. I counted up the calories I had consumed, and with breakfast I was already flirting with 2000. "No problem," I thought. "I'll just make sure I go for my run tonight."
I spent most of that evening psyching myself up for my run (when I really ought to have been revising), as I haven't been in a few weeks now, and kept trying to make excuses. Finally the time came (just before sundown, when its getting cooler), and I started doing my stretches. Then, disaster! I felt an awful twinge right up the right-side of my back. I left it for a second and tried moving again, but it still hurt. I didn't know what to do.
Instantly that lazy, greedy part of my brain (which dropping almost 60lbs still hasn't killed off) tried to convince me that running was out of the question. AND, as I'd already eaten fast food and was probably going to gain weight, I might as well 'do it in style', and have a massive binge.
But screw that! Having lost so much weight last week, I knew that a slip here would see it all pile back on (the more I lose, the keener my body seems to be to regain). I worked out that my back only hurt if I twisted sideways, and should be OK when I was running upright. So I changed into my running gear, grabbed my iPod, and went to fill my water bottle.
Second disaster! As I sometimes put a dash of fruit concentrate in my water to improve the taste, and as I hadn't run in a while, that water had been sitting in the bottle for a few weeks. And boy, was it furry in there! Instantly I wrote off any chance of running that evening. I even got as far as choosing a DVD to watch instead.
But I got angry with myself. Angry that once again I was letting something get in the way of my running. I've been putting off going running for ages now, and I'd had enough of it.
So, I decided that I would trek all the way down to the shops, buy a new water bottle, trek all the way back home, and then DARN WELL RUN! Never mind that I'd have a pocket full of change and a dodgy back, I needed to burn some calories!
And I did! I only managed three miles, testament to the lack of recent exercise, but actually enjoyed the first couple of miles, which was encouraging. And when I woke up this morning and weighed...I was exactly the same as yesterday! I'd managed to eat a McDonalds and still keep my weight the same, which seemed like a massive triumph, somehow.
Of course, I was making mountains of molehills (as they say), but that's the way excuses work. They start out small, but then get bigger and bigger to keep you on your ass, and out of your running shoes. It was a massive struggle, just to get out of the house and three miles around the estate, and after all that I didn't manage to score even a 0.1lb loss...but it still felt like a huge achievement!