Making An Effort (And Not)

My plans to make this a perfect week of dieting and exercise haven't worked out, as my cough and cold have lasted longer than I expected them to. I always seem to get these symptoms after my jabs, and had another one at the start of the week (making sure I'm safe for the wards next academic year!), so that rather scuppered my exercise dreams.

It has now been weeks, even months, since I last went for a run. Its a shame, really - think of the weight I COULD have lost! But never mind - sometimes I even think its a good thing that my weight-loss slowed, as it makes me less nervous about rebounds or baggy skin when the loss is nice and gradual! The good news is I seem to be improving healthwise now, so hope to get a run in some time next week.

I have been busy in other ways though. When I knew I wasn't going to be running, I decided to get out and about, to make sure I was at least still active, and not just sitting in my room in front of the computer. I dug out my guidebook to London, and made a list of all the free attractions I was interested in. Went off to a museum this week, and have another couple lined up for next week. 

I went out and met up with some friends on Wednesday night too. That might sound like quite a normal thing to do, but it was quite a big deal for me. I've said before that I deactivated my Facebook when I was at my heaviest (back in February), lost contact with most of my friends, and wouldn't attend any social gatherings. I was too embarrassed by how I looked, too self-conscious, and didn't really know who I was at that point.

Things have definitely changed on that front now. I actually enjoy being around other people again...and dare I say, they seem to enjoy being around me more than before? Another blogger, Miss April (who I recommend you all go and read), previously reported a similar phenomenon - people seem to 'perceive you as you perceive yourself'. Back when I was self-conscious and wary and withdrawn, people would be the same with me. But now that I have more confidence, and am more willing to connect with other people, suddenly everyone seems that little bit more friendly! And people actually want to spend time with you - my calendar is filling up!

I'm really feeling like a new man these days. Maybe THAT'S part of the problem - I'm so pleased with how far I've come, I don't feel any pressure to continue. I have to keep reminding myself that I haven't finished yet - if I think things are good now, wait until this whole program is over!