Tuesday, August 30, 2011

Week 27 - RESULTS...First Gain!

As the title might suggest, the only way is up...

STARTING WEIGHT:   222.3 lbs

ENDING WEIGHT:  225.2 lbs

WEIGHT GAIN:  2.9 lbs

Took me over six months, but I finally recorded a gain!

You want to know the strangest thing, though? My strongest reaction to seeing the gain can only be described as relief. For several reasons:

- Scales finally reflect reality. Many times in the last six months, you'll have seen me write that I expected to see a gain, but actually scored a loss. This happened too many times, and it was really starting to damage my motivation. If I can forget exercise and binge a couple of nights, and STILL see a loss, what incentive is there to do any different? This week I still haven't been running, as I can't shake this cough, and I had a very food-heavy weekend as I was with my Dad and brother, celebrating his coming wedding. If I had still scored a loss, why would I ever run again?

- No more weight-loss guilt. I'm aware that my weight loss so far has been pretty rapid, pretty sustained, and pretty darn impressive. After a while I actually started to become self-conscious about it, especially as some of my followers are far better exercisers/dieters than I've been in the last few months, but it was still me who was seeing the losses. It's almost a relief to have finally moved back a couple of paces, and to have broken the chain!

- I'm in desperate need of a fresh start. This has been the main message of my posts for a few months, I think. Since my routine was broken by the end of lectures and the start of my revision period, I've struggled to find the same enthusiasm or momentum for the weight-loss. I've been posting less, reading fewer of my followed blogs, hardly been running at all...its almost as though I don't care any more. Add onto that how much weight I've already lost, and how good I now feel - well, you're dangerously close to ending the whole thing. And now, I've started having mini-binge days, like the midnight pizza-and-icecream I reported on Wednesday. The system has been gradually crumbling for a while. I've been needing a fresh start.

And the thing is, I have one soon. Next weekend is my brother's wedding, which has always been a major reason for my own weight-loss attempt. The weekend after that is my last before the next academic year begins. So, a couple of weeks from now, I have the perfect opportunity to make a new beginning - starting a new year at University (where I'm trying to improve my attitude towards the work:play ratio), and also making a fresh start of the weight-loss, back onto the regular diet and bringing back the regular runs. 

Only problem is, its still two weeks away, with a major family celebration in between. I'm slightly concerned that I'll see the time before the fresh beginning as a chance to binge, and just eat like a pig for two weeks. I'm going to try and fight that urge, and limit the damage to my progress before the restart. But in a way, I feel like this first sprint, from February through to August via 70lbs+, has finally run out of steam. I need to recharge my batteries, catch my breath, then take the plunge into the second push. I guess its all a question of balance - finding the perfect place between relaxation and decadence, between recharging and binge-eating. Here's hoping I strike lucky!

71.9 lbs


  1. This is the reason I've lost and regained the same 35 to 40 pounds over and over through the years. I would lose the weight and then start eating too much and the wrong things and I would get away with it for a while. Then the scale would start to creep up and I would just keep eating and would gain everything back plus another five pounds for good measure. For the time being, I've broken that terrible cycle.