STARTING WEIGHT: 222.3 lbs
ENDING WEIGHT: 225.2 lbs
WEIGHT GAIN: 2.9 lbs
You want to know the strangest thing, though? My strongest reaction to seeing the gain can only be described as relief. For several reasons:
- Scales finally reflect reality. Many times in the last six months, you'll have seen me write that I expected to see a gain, but actually scored a loss. This happened too many times, and it was really starting to damage my motivation. If I can forget exercise and binge a couple of nights, and STILL see a loss, what incentive is there to do any different? This week I still haven't been running, as I can't shake this cough, and I had a very food-heavy weekend as I was with my Dad and brother, celebrating his coming wedding. If I had still scored a loss, why would I ever run again?
- No more weight-loss guilt. I'm aware that my weight loss so far has been pretty rapid, pretty sustained, and pretty darn impressive. After a while I actually started to become self-conscious about it, especially as some of my followers are far better exercisers/dieters than I've been in the last few months, but it was still me who was seeing the losses. It's almost a relief to have finally moved back a couple of paces, and to have broken the chain!
- I'm in desperate need of a fresh start. This has been the main message of my posts for a few months, I think. Since my routine was broken by the end of lectures and the start of my revision period, I've struggled to find the same enthusiasm or momentum for the weight-loss. I've been posting less, reading fewer of my followed blogs, hardly been running at all...its almost as though I don't care any more. Add onto that how much weight I've already lost, and how good I now feel - well, you're dangerously close to ending the whole thing. And now, I've started having mini-binge days, like the midnight pizza-and-icecream I reported on Wednesday. The system has been gradually crumbling for a while. I've been needing a fresh start.
And the thing is, I have one soon. Next weekend is my brother's wedding, which has always been a major reason for my own weight-loss attempt. The weekend after that is my last before the next academic year begins. So, a couple of weeks from now, I have the perfect opportunity to make a new beginning - starting a new year at University (where I'm trying to improve my attitude towards the work:play ratio), and also making a fresh start of the weight-loss, back onto the regular diet and bringing back the regular runs.
Only problem is, its still two weeks away, with a major family celebration in between. I'm slightly concerned that I'll see the time before the fresh beginning as a chance to binge, and just eat like a pig for two weeks. I'm going to try and fight that urge, and limit the damage to my progress before the restart. But in a way, I feel like this first sprint, from February through to August via 70lbs+, has finally run out of steam. I need to recharge my batteries, catch my breath, then take the plunge into the second push. I guess its all a question of balance - finding the perfect place between relaxation and decadence, between recharging and binge-eating. Here's hoping I strike lucky!
WEIGHT LOSS TO DATE:
71.9 lbs
This is the reason I've lost and regained the same 35 to 40 pounds over and over through the years. I would lose the weight and then start eating too much and the wrong things and I would get away with it for a while. Then the scale would start to creep up and I would just keep eating and would gain everything back plus another five pounds for good measure. For the time being, I've broken that terrible cycle.
ReplyDeleteDear,
ReplyDeleteyou going on right way!