|Picture from specialtycakecreations.com|
Ok, so maybe this isn't technically the first birthday of the blog per se, but (as I've drummed into you all since day one) I started my weight loss attempt in earnest on 21st February 2011. The blog only came to life one week later, when I weighed in and saw my progress, and decided that I wanted to track this in a more public forum. However, I was thinking about ways to improve my compliance to the program from the get go, so I don't feel like too much of a fraud to celebrate 1 year of Idle To Idol today!
My first ever post was titled Let's Get This Ball Of Lard Rolling... That's how I felt back then - like a big, mushy, useless pile of fat. I still can't believe that was a whole year ago! In some ways, the time has absolutely flown by.
When I started, I didn't really have a goal date in mind. In order to give some kind of impetus, I said I wanted to lose as much weight as possible before my brother's wedding. Then, I thought that maybe I could hit goal by the New Year. Now here I am, one year on, still trying to shed those last few pounds...but I don't feel bad about that for a second.
Why? Because it is ONE YEAR ON.
I had been telling myself I wanted to lose weight for about ten years before I started. Instead, I just gradually continued to gain weight, and my confidence went down the drain. There were a few efforts to kick-start some weight loss in those years, and progress was made, but I always lost focus before too long, and ended up heavier than before.
There have absolutely been ups and downs in the past year too. And I don't just mean on the scales! In my motivation, my confidence, my self-image, my sense of worth and possibility, and ambition.
However, even when my motivation dropped, and I stopped exercising, and was less strict on the diet, and the weight started to rise again...I never gave up. I never surrendered. And THAT is the real triumph and legacy of this blog, in my eyes. During my regular winter slump, I could very easily have regained most of the weight, given up on exercising, tried to eat my gloom away and consigned myself to a lifetime of obesity, depression and self-loathing. Deleted the blog, and pretended that the last year never happened.
But this winter, although I still lost some motivation, and gained back some of the weight, I didn't cave completely. I recognised the slump for what it was, managed to limit the amount of weight I regained, and I turned it into a blip, rather than a back-sliding avalanche.
Now, coming out of my winter gloom, I find myself not heavier than the previous year, but over 75lbs lighter. I fully expect to experience the same blip again this coming winter, but now I know that I can get through it, I very much see my journey as big leaps forward in spring and summer, trying to maintain those losses through autumn, and then limiting the damage caused in winter. Ten steps forward, one step back.
This time next year, I fully hope and expect and intend to be at goal. I can't wait to see what happens between now and then...and I hope some of you will come along for the journey!
THANK YOU ALL SO MUCH for your support over the last year. I couldn't have done it without you.